i suspect

my unconscious self is
afraid of everything
falling apart. somehow i started to
believe that fear was the string
needed to hold everything together.

that
that tension would
keep everything in place. if
i just worried about it enough,
everything would be just
fine & dandy.

i didn’t know that fear needed me to survive,
not the other way around.

i didn’t know that i need change
like i need air.

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i wish

in the morning, that I could pour my tiredness into a sparkly capsule and drink it at bedtime.

in the night, that I could pour my energy into a cup and drink it with my breakfast cereal.

–  childhood thoughts

I wish in the times I felt hopeless / depressed / scared – 

I could remember how wonderful it is to be alive, all that I have access to,

to create, to do, to experience & give.

– Oct 27, 2016