i suspect

my unconscious self is
afraid of everything
falling apart. somehow i started to
believe that fear was the string
needed to hold everything together.

that tension would
keep everything in place. if
i just worried about it enough,
everything would be just
fine & dandy.

i didn’t know that fear needed me to survive,
not the other way around.

i didn’t know that i need change
like i need air.


on cleaning house

“Pulling back every once in a while to see how far you’ve gotten is also important, ‘because you can see your accomplishments within the big picture, instead of measuring yourself against the larger, scarier reality.'”

The Power of Small, Why Little Things Make All the Difference

“I was told many times that I should stay at Microsoft and be grateful for the job I had there. And I believe in being grateful. But don’t let gratefulness hide the hunger that you have within.” – Karen X. Cheng


i do not find inspiration

in the way they can preach to me.

but if i see them on that elevated place, the hill past the battleground they’ve conquered. the story they are able to tell because of it.

that makes me look up.

(i’m inspired by their life’s story // it was never about the advice they could give.)


i wish

in the morning, that I could pour my tiredness into a sparkly capsule and drink it at bedtime.

in the night, that I could pour my energy into a cup and drink it with my breakfast cereal.

–  childhood thoughts

I wish in the times I felt hopeless / depressed / scared – 

I could remember how wonderful it is to be alive, all that I have access to,

to create, to do, to experience & give.

– Oct 27, 2016



some moments will wrap you in a truth so bitter

and you will have to decide if that’s a truth and a reality you want to live by

and if not,

you have to do the work of creating a new truth


hang out

with the courageous